


i'll press you to the pages of my heart

by namosjeong



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, but this is still fluff i promise, just a little sad at times, this was supposed to be a sugar mommy au but it turned into something else idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 08:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20189383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namosjeong/pseuds/namosjeong
Summary: It wasn’t in Nayeon’s plans to become a nanny, but when you have bills to pay, can’t find a decent job, and don’t have a degree, you are sometimes forced to explore paths you had never considered before.





	i'll press you to the pages of my heart

It wasn’t in Nayeon’s plans to become a nanny, but when you have bills to pay, can’t find a decent job, and don’t have a degree, you are sometimes forced to explore paths you had never considered before. 

Jihyo is the one who comes up with the idea. Apparently, she has a friend who is in need of someone to look over her kid. A business woman like her, she says. She tells Nayeon that she can put in a word for her. Nayeon might not have much experience in that field, but she is good with kids and is trustworthy. And she did study to become a preschool teacher, she just wasn’t able to finish. 

At first, Nayeon is a little eskeptic, Jihyo keeps being mysterious about it and not telling her who her potential employer is. Maybe she’s just planning to sell her off to some mob boss just so Nayeon will stop being a freeloader in her spare room. It’s true that Jihyo’s apartment is huge and that she says she actually appreciates the company, and that Nayeon tries to help her with rent with the little money she gets from the sporadic jobs she manages to find. But she knows it’s a ridiculous amount compared to what a room in such a place would cost, and even if Jihyo doesn’t need the money, she still feels terrible about it. 

“You know you can stay with me for as long as you want to.” Jihyo tells her for the hundredth time. “But I think getting this job could be very good for you. It would be something stable, and I think you’d enjoy it. So, do you want me to tell my friend about you?”

“Sure.” Nayeon replies. It’s not like she has anything to do. She doesn’t think this woman will hire her to look after her kid just because she is Jihyo’s best friend, but what’s the harm in trying? She won’t get her hopes up anyway. Good things just don’t happen to her. 

She gets a phone call a week later. A woman who introduces herself as Ms. Hirai secretary tells her she’s scheduled an interview with her the next day, in a way that lets her know the date and time is not up for debate. Apparently, Ms. Hirai is a very busy woman. Nayeon, of course, says yes, and spends the rest of the day freaking out about it to Jihyo and trying to find an appropriate outfit. 

The address she’s given turns out to be Ms. Hirai’s home address. She’s surprised to find herself in a residential neighborhood, one that looks very exclusive from the looks of it. She was expecting an office and she’s a little thrown off, so her nerves only skyrocket as she buzzes the intercom and asks to be let in. 

“I’m Im Nayeon. I had an interview scheduled with Ms. Hirai?”

The gate opens without anyone giving her a reply, and she walks in cautiously. The place looks nice. Like, exorbitantly rich nice. The garden is perfectly taken care of, and the house looks modern and elegant even from the outside. A woman greets her at the door, introducing herself as Ms. Hirai’s assistant, and tells her that her boss will come down shortly. 

It does not feel like a short time to Nayeon. She’s fidgeting anxiously as she waits, wondering if she should take a sit on one of the very expensive looking chairs next to her, when a child suddenly appears walking in from the adjoining room. 

She can’t be older than seven or eight years old, Nayeon guesses. She’s holding on to a teddy bear that seems like it has been through a lot, but it still looks very clean, just like everything else in this house. She’s adorable, with long dark hair and a pouty expression. Nayeon’s heart softens immediately when she looks at her with those big eyes. Is this the kid she’s supposed to look after?

The little girl doesn’t say anything, looking surprised at seeing Nayeon, a stranger, there. She stares at her, and Nayeon, at loss for what to do, stares back. When the girl starts crying, she panics. Not even five minutes and she has already made the child cry. She’s definitely not getting this job. 

Pushing those thoughts to the back of her head, Nayeon approaches the kid slowly, feeling the need to comfort her. She hates seeing children sad. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She asks her in a soft tone, leaving some distance between them so she doesn’t scare her further and squatting so they can be the same height. “Did I scare you? I’m sorry. I’m just here to meet your mother.” 

There are still tears falling down the girl’s cheeks, but when she sees Nayeon isn’t moving and is just smiling kindly at her she slowly starts to calm down. She remains silent, though, and Nayeon speaks again. 

“I’m Nayeon. What’s your name?”

“Chaewon.”

“That’s a very pretty name.” Nayeon’s soothing tone seems to be working, and the girl’s breathing is now back to normal. “It’s very nice to meet you, Chaewon.”

She holds out her hand for Chaewon to take if she wants to, waiting patiently until she’s ready. The girl hesitates, but eventually does it, and even smiles a little at Nayeon. 

“Ms. Im?” The unknown voice startles Nayeon, who trips and almost falls in her attempt to stand up as quickly as possible. Chaewon giggles a little at that, though, so she doesn’t really mind. There’s a woman in front of her. Surprisingly, she looks around her age and, wow, Nayeon thinks. Black hair, perfectly styled. Tall, fit. Very pretty eyes, and even prettier lips. She’s _ gorgeous _. “I’m Hirai Momo. Are you ready for your interview?” 

Nayeon nods. “Yes, Ms. Hirai.” 

There’s this aura that makes Ms. Hirai a little intimidating. It’s not like she’s rude, or even stand-offish, but more like there’s this impenetrable wall around her that doesn’t let Nayeon know what she’s thinking, or feeling, and that makes her nervous. She leads her to an office, and offers her a glass of water Nayeon gladly accepts. Her throat feels awfully dry.

“I see you already met my daughter.” 

“Yes. She looks like a very sweet kid.” Nayeon wonders if she saw the way she had, unintentionally, made her cry earlier. She really hopes she hasn’t. 

“She is.” Momo agrees. “Unfortunately, I’m not able to be with her as much as I’d like to, that’s why I’m looking for someone to hire as a nanny. Chaewon is a very sensitive kid, and she’s… she’s been through a lot already. I have to be able to trust the person that takes care of her one hundred percent.”

“Of course. I understand completely.” Nayeon is lost. She doesn’t know if Momo’s words are a good or a bad sign, but she hopes for the former. 

“Would you be willing to start on Monday? I know it’s short notice but Jihyo told me you had full availability.” 

_ Wait, what? _

“Does that mean I’m hired?” Nayeon asks, not being able to help losing her composure a little. She’s so confused. She was expecting some kind of interrogatory to make sure she was the right person for the job, but the interview had just started.

There’s a slight amused smile on Momo’s lips, probably because of her candor. “If you’re available. My assistant will tell you all the details. It’s a demanding job, and you’d be required to move into the house, but you’d have a free day a week and I expect the salary will seem satisfactory to you.” 

Nayeon can’t even remember the last time she had a job with a moderately decent pay, so she expects the salary will be satisfactory too. “Of course. I’m honored that you’re giving me this chance, Ms. Hirai. I will do my best for you and your daughter.” 

“I hope so.” Momo says, standing up at the same time as her and offering her hand for a handshake. “It’s been a pleasure, Miss Im. I’ll see you on Monday.” 

* * *

Momo’s assistant, Dahyun, is the one who answers all of Nayeon’s doubts and the one who makes sure her transition into the job and into the house goes as smoothly as possible. She’s a cheerful, kind woman, and Nayeon likes her from the start. 

Jihyo says she’s sad that Nayeon is leaving because that will mean she has to stay alone in her big apartment, but Nayeon isn’t worried. She’s seen the way Jihyo and her girlfriend look at each other, and they’ve been dating for a few months already. It’s just a matter of time before either of them pops the question and Mina moves in with her. 

Nayeon finds herself enjoying her job. Chaewon is a lovely kid, a little quiet, but she’s slowly getting her to let her in and be more open with her. She really likes spending time and taking care of her, and there are rarely any issues. The rest of the staff of the house are nice and welcoming, and she can’t complain at all when she has a whole room with its own private bathroom all to herself. 

Despite living in her house, she rarely sees Ms. Hirai. The woman is as busy as she had said, and Nayeon understands the need of a nanny. But, as much work as has to do, and no matter how exhausted she looks, she always seems to have time for her daughter. Even if it’s just ten minutes, she makes sure to be there on time to tuck her in and read her a bedtime story whenever she can. 

Her boss is like a different woman around Chaewon. It’s like all the seriousness melts away, and she acts like another kid with her, playing around and looking genuinely interested in everything her daughter tells her, no matter how mundane or silly. It makes her way less intimidating in Nayeon’s eyes, and more intriguing. She wonders how she can make that switch so easily, and which side is the real Momo. 

Judging from a few comments she’s heard from the house staff, her open, playful side was way more prominent before. They always say that, “before”. Before “the accident”, before “what happened”. Nayeon doesn’t know the details, and she has a lot of questions, but she’s too shy to ask. She doesn’t want to appear rude or overstep her boundaries. From the what little she knows, she’s sure it’s a touchy subject. 

Nayeon freaks out a little when Dahyun tells her Momo wants to have a meeting with her that same night. The other woman tries to reassure her, and tell her she just wants to talk, but she can’t help being on edge. Everything has been going well, too well for what she’s used to. It’s her instinct to wait for the other shoe to drop. 

They meet at Momo’s home office after Chaewon has been put to bed. Nayeon knocks before opening the door, finding Momo already expecting her. She looks different than the first time they met in this same place. Out of the suit, in simpler, more comfortable clothes. A black sweater and a pair of loose matching pants. She still looks really good. Maybe Nayeon shouldn’t think that about her boss, but who can blame her? Anyone with eyes could see it. 

“Let’s sit over here.” Momo says, gesturing towards the comfortable looking couch and armchair in a corner of the room. “The desk and those chairs are way too formal for this.” Nayeon silently agrees with her, looking at Momo curiously as she sits down. She looks relaxed, probably in a good mood after seeing her daughter. It’s nice to see her like this. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t have a talk with you before. I wanted to, but work has been hectic lately.” Momo says apologetically. “Do you want some tea? I always take this before going to sleep. It helps me relax.” 

“Sure.” Nayeon tells her, her nerves slowly subsiding as she sees Dahyun was right. It does look like Momo just wants a little chat with her.

“So, how have your first weeks been?” She asks Nayeon, smiling warmly at her as she hands her a cup of tea. “Do you like the job?”

“I really do.” Nayeon replies honestly. “Chaewon is such a great kid. She’s been lovely, and everyone here has been so welcoming.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Momo sits down on her armchair after pouring another cup for herself. “I want all my employees to feel comfortable.” She takes a sip of her tea, without taking her eyes off Nayeon. It doesn’t make her as uneasy as it should. “Chaewon has only good things to say about you.” 

“Really?” Nayeon asks, smiling brightly. “I’m glad she feels comfortable with me.” 

“Me too. That’s why I hired you, you know?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Didn’t you wonder why your interview was so short?”

“Of course. But I figured it was best not to ask when luck was on my side for once.” Nayeon tries her luck with a little joke, the light atmosphere making her feel daring. 

It gets her the right reaction, and Momo chuckles at her answer. “You managed to make Chaewon calm down and talk to you.” That wasn’t a big deal, right? She was just good with kids. “She hadn’t said a word to a stranger in months.”

Okay, maybe it was a big deal. “I didn’t know that.” 

“I told you that she had been through some hard stuff. After her mother passed away…” Momo seems lost in thought. It’s only for a few seconds, barely noticeable, but Nayeon catches it. The sudden deep sadness in her eyes. “She became much quieter. She got scared easily. She closed off. But she talked to you as soon as you got here. She trusted you. Something told me that was a sign, and that I shouldn’t let you go. I think I made the right call.” 

Nayeon blushes faintly, and she takes a sip from her tea to distract herself from the way Momo is looking at her. There’s something in Momo’s intense stare that made her feel like a teenager. She quickly shakes those thoughts off. She has to be professional. “I’m really glad you feel that way, Ms. Hirai.” 

“Call me Momo.” The other woman told her. “Ms. Hirai sounds so stiff. I’ve never been good at all that protocol stuff.” 

“Okay.” Nayeon smiles bashfully. She feels nervous addressing her boss in such a in informal manner, but she has noticed most of the staff around the house refers to her by her first name. “Thank you, Momo. For this great opportunity.” 

“There’s no need to thank me. But I would like to talk to you a bit more, while we finish our drinks. I’d like to get to know the woman who is taking care of my daughter. If that’s alright with you, of course. You’re probably tired and maybe you want to go straight to bed.” 

Momo is almost pouting -she probably doesn’t even realize her current expression makes it look like that, but who gave her the right- and Nayeon can’t help but stay. She doesn’t regret it, however. The more they talk, the easier it gets. Nayeon shares a little about herself, and Momo does the same. 

It actually feels nice, and Nayeon understands now the affection with which the house employees talk about Momo. She doesn’t feel like her boss, but rather a new friend she’s getting to know. Not once has she made her feel inferior despite the fact that, with all the businesses she owns, she probably makes in a day as much as Nayeon makes in a month.

Momo is more soft spoken than she had expected and she listens attentively to everything Nayeon has to share. She even laughs at her jokes, which all of her friends say are terrible. It’s going so well she completely forgets about time, and they keep talking long after their cups are empty.

“It’s gotten late.” Momo says after catching a glimpse of the clock on her wall. “I should probably let you go rest.” 

“You should too. I’m sure you have an early morning tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, like always.” Momo whines, making Nayeon smile. She’d never have thought that the intimidating woman she met for the first time a couple of weeks ago could be described with the word adorable. “It was very nice talking to you, Nayeon. I’m very happy I found you to take care of Chaewon.” 

Nayeon nods, giving her a grin. “I’m very happy too. I’ll take very good care of her. You don’t have to worry about that anymore.” 

* * *

Nayeon keeps her promise. Momo can see how Chaewon slowly starts being more confident and less shy, going back to her old self. She knows it’s especially thanks to Nayeon. She keeps a close eye on them, as much as her tight schedule allows her, and she’s more sure than ever that she made the right choice trusting her gut and hiring the other woman no matter how spontaneous her decision was. 

They have had a few more talks, just the two of them. Talking to Nayeon feels good, refreshing. It’s been a long time since she’s had someone she can speak to that isn’t just for work reasons or that doesn’t look at her with pity. She knows Nayeon is just her employee, and she sees her simply as her boss and not some kind of friends, but during their late night talks it feels like they are. But that is probably just Momo being silly.

Momo’s phone rings in the middle of a very boring meeting, the vibration in her pocket breaking her out of her inner musings she had gotten lost in after they started talking about the projections for the next quarter again. She wouldn’t normally take it while she’s at work, but the caller ID tells her it’s from Nayeon, and she knows she wouldn’t call her if it wasn’t important. 

“Is everything okay?” She asks, trying to ignore the way her heart is beating rapidly and her chest seems to constrict. It’s been like this every time she gets an unexpected phone call since that day. 

“Don’t worry, Chaewon is okay.” With those words, Momo feels like she can breathe again. “But I got a call from school, and I think you should be here.” 

Momo doesn’t even hesitate. She can excuse herself from the meeting, her daughter always comes first. “I’ll be right there.”

As it turns out, Chaewon had gotten herself into a fight. If it wasn’t for the teacher saying she had seen it with her own eyes Momo wouldn’t have believed it. Chaewon was the most peaceful kid she’d ever seen, she even made her catch bugs and throw them outside when she saw one in her room and didn’t let her kill them. 

“Why did you hit that girl, baby?” She tries asking her for what feels like the hundredth time. Chaewon keeps looking out of the window of the car ignoring her question, and Momo sighs. Nothing makes her feel as helpless as not being able to do something for her kid. Nothing sets off the bad thoughts in her head as much. 

_ You’re so bad at this. A pathetic excuse for a mother. Chaewon would be so much better off if she was the one still here. _

She feels someone place a hand over hers and squeeze it slightly and it brings her back to reality. It’s Nayeon, who is sitting on the opposite side. 

“Just give her some time, don’t worry. I’ll speak to her and see if I can get her to talk.” Nayeon sounds so calm and sure of herself it’s reassuring.

Momo does her best to flash her a smile, even if it’s weak. She hopes it conveys all the gratefulness she feels towards her. Somehow, in such a short period of time, Nayeon has become such a source of comfort and stability. She’s earned Momo’s trust with every time she’s made Chaewon laugh, with every song she sings softly to Chaewon to help her sleep when she thinks no one else is hearing them. With every time she’s made Momo feel better after a long day at the office just by giving her that blinding smile, with every silly joke that Momo can’t help but giggle at.

Momo feels like she’s starting to lean on her, and that’s scary. Life has taught her it’s not safe to rely on people, because you never know when they’re going to leave. But she doesn’t know how to stop either.

* * *

“I talked to her.” Nayeon tells her right after walking into her office that night, while Momo was waiting anxiously pacing around. 

“And? Did she tell you what happened?” 

Nayeon sighs. “Yeah. Let’s sit down. I’ll pour the tea.” 

With how nervous Momo looked, it probably would have ended up spilled all over the place if she had to do it. 

“Apparently that girl was saying some stuff to her. Really mean stuff. I mean, I guessed it was something like that because there’s no way Chaewon would get violent for no reason.”

Momo nods. Of course. But she needed to know more. “What kind of stuff?” 

Nayeon let out another sigh. She looked like she really didn’t want to bring the subject out, but there was no way around it. “Stuff about her mother. Her other mother.”

“Oh.” Momo looks taken aback. She has that sad look that surfaces every time her late wife is mentioned, or even when something reminds her of her. Nayeon has grown to be able to tell when that happens. She hates that look. It breaks her heart to see the light in Momo’s eyes disappear, even if it’s just for a few seconds. Momo is so kind, and sweet, and just plain good, it’s not fair she’s burdened with such sorrow. 

She wishes she could do more, but she has to remind herself of her position. She’s just the nanny. There’s nothing she can do. If Momo could hear her thoughts, she’d disagree and tell her how much she does already. 

“I told her she should talk to you too about it. She said she would, tomorrow.”

“That’s good.” Momo smiles, but her lips are pressed together and Nayeon can tell she’s trying not to let her emotions get the best of her. She manages to push them back, her face becoming blank after taking a deep breath. 

When she had first started working for her, she had wondered about the ease with which Momo would switch between the gentle, smiley woman she had grown to know and the stoic professional, but she understood now. That façade was her shield, for when the pain became too much, and it had probably taken her a lot of time an effort to master it.

“Thank you Nayeon. Really. You don’t know how much you’ve helped me, and Chaewon.” When Momo looks at her, some of her warmth is back and Nayeon feels a little relieved. It’s not good to bottle up your feelings like that, she knows from experience.

“It’s nothing, Momo. It’s my job.” 

It feels wrong to say just that. It may be her job, but that’s not the only reason she’s doing it anymore. She’s grown to care about Chaewon, and about Momo too if she’s being honest. 

* * *

“I had an idea.” Momo tells one afternoon a few days later, one of the few she gets home early. She looks excited, and it makes Nayeon smile as well. “I told Chaewon I would take her out to do something fun tomorrow. I thought it would be a way to bond a little with her, especially after everything that happened last week.”

“That sounds great, Momo.” Nayeon agrees. It always warms her heart to see how much she loves her daughter, and spending time with her. 

“That means you can have a free afternoon. I’ll go pick up Chaewon from school.” Momo tells, but her fidgeting hands tell Nayeon there’s something else she wants to say. “Unless… well, I don’t want you to feel pressured, you’re totally allowed to say no. I bet you’d like some time to yourself.” She’s rambling, and it’s adorable. 

_ Can you please stop using that word to describe your boss _, Nayeon reminds herself. 

“Are you trying to ask me something?” She teases her, and Momo laughs, looking a little embarrassed. 

“Would you like to come with us? Chaewon asked me if you could come too.”

“Oh, I don’t want to impose. It’s your time with you daughter, after all, and I know you don’t have as much as you’d like to-”

“I’d love it if you came too.” Momo cuts her off with a gentle smile. If they both keep rambling this conversation can go on forever. “I think we could have a lot of fun.” 

Nayeon does her best not to let her sudden giddiness show. “Oh. Okay then. If you don’t mind. I’ll go with you. I’m sure we’ll have a great time.” 

As much as she tries to ignore it, Momo’s words keep echoing in her head, and Nayeon can’t erase the stupid smile off her face all day.

Nayeon has spent a lot of time with Momo, and she has spent even more with Chaewon, but she quickly realizes it’s the first time she’s going to be spending an entire afternoon with both of them together. It makes her a little nervous, and she hopes it’s not awkward. 

She doesn’t know why she cares so much about what Momo thinks of her. She tries to tell herself it’s because she’s her boss, and she wants to keep the job she loves, but something tells her there’s a little bit more than that. But she’s managed to keep those thoughts locked away in the back of her mind for quite some time now, and she intends on keeping it that way. 

She doesn’t need any more complications. She’s had enough of those for a lifetime.

She worries over nothing, because as soon as they pick up Chaewon from school she’s so excited and talkative it really leaves no chance for there to be awkward silences between them all. It’s one of the few times Nayeon has seen the girl like this, and it makes her so happy. Sometimes, it breaks her heart how much sadness Chaewon’s had to endure at such a young age. 

“Have you ever gone bowling before, Chae?” She asks her as they walk into the building and Momo goes to get them all shoes. 

“No! Have you?”

“I have.” Nayeon nods. “But I’m pretty bad at it, so it doesn’t count.” 

“Mommy says she’s really good.” Chaewon whispers conspiratorially to her. “So I thought we should team up against her.” 

“That’s a really good idea.” Nayeon tells her

“Are you two already plotting against me?” Momo asks them, coming back with all of their shoes in her hands. 

“We were just saying how we’re going to beat you at this game.” 

“Oh, really?” Momo arches an eyebrow, and hands them the shoes, helping Chaewon put on hers before doing the same. “I don’t think so.” 

“If we win, you have to buy us ice cream!” Chaewon tells her, offering her a hand to shake to seal the deal. She’s probably seen Momo do it before and she’s copying her. 

“And what if you lose?” 

“Then Nayeon will buy ice cream for us all.” 

Both of them laugh at the kid’s smart answer, who looks pretty proud of herself. “Deal.” Momo says, shaking her daughter’s hand. 

They’ve been playing for a while when Nayeon says she’s going to get them all a snack. When she comes back, Momo is helping Chaewon, giving her some tips as she helps her learn how to properly throw the ball. Nayeon can’t help staring at the scene with a soft smile.

“You’re an amazing mom, you know?” She tells Momo quietly when she goes back to her seat and they both watch Chaewon play. 

“I do what I can.” She replies humbly, but Nayeon isn’t having it. 

“You’re great, Momo. There’s a reason why Chaewon is such a good kid.”

Most of the time, when people compliment her on that, she says it’s mostly thanks to her wife’s influence. She was the perfect mom, the perfect partner, the perfect businesswoman. Most of the time, Momo feels like she’s barely hanging in there trying to keep up with everything she used to do so effortlessly. But Momo manages to bite her tongue for once. She doesn’t want to put a damper on their fun time.

“You really think so?”

“I do. A lot of kids would kill to have such a good mom.” Nayeon sighs, a little sadly, and Momo wants to ask if there is something more behind her words. But she feels too shy to do so. She always feels so confused around Nayeon, because her mind knows Momo is her boss and she needs to keep a distance between them as to not make the girl uncomfortable, but her heart regards Nayeon as someone much more close and important to her than a simple employee. She wishes she could ask Nayeon how she thinks of her, and if she’s in the same dilemma. 

Despite their best efforts, Momo wins. Nayeon doesn’t mind paying for their ice cream, though. Especially because it means they get to spend a little more time together. She’s had even more fun than expected being with the both of them, and she kind of doesn’t want the afternoon to end. 

“You have your face full of ice cream, Chaewon.” Nayeon laughs, and grabs a napkin to wipe the girl’s face with care. “You’re never such a messy eater, I think you’re just too excited today.” 

“Because I had a great time with you and Mommy.” Chaewon says, pouting slightly in a way that makes Nayeon want to pinch her cheek. She’s just too adorable for her own good sometimes. She ignores the voice in her head that tells her she resembles Momo a lot when she does that. 

“You did?”

“I did! It was very fun, even if we lost.”

“I had a lot of fun too.” Nayeon replies, and looks towards Momo, expecting her to say something as well, but she seems to be lost in thought, her gaze fixed on them. There’s something in her eyes Nayeon can’t quite decipher. 

“Yeah, it was great beating you both so easily.” Momo says, a few seconds too late, but Chaewon doesn’t even seem to notice like Nayeon does. She just whines at her mother, and complains about her teasing until they finish their ice creams and Momo makes up for it by giving her a piggy ride to the car. 

* * *

Momo spends days trying to figure out why she feels so weird whenever she looks at Nayeon with Chaewon. It’s always warmed her heart, but now there’s a bitterness to it too that she doesn’t understand. It takes her some time to realize it’s guilt, but she still doesn’t know why it’s there. 

Maybe it’s because she feels like she should be the one taking care of her daughter and playing with her. Maybe it’s because sometimes, when she observes them, she can’t help imagining some kind of future with both of them in it that she knows can never become real. 

Nayeon notices, of course she does. She seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to noticing Momo’s bad moods, or maybe she’s just terrible at hiding them. It might be a bit of both. 

“Is everything okay?” Nayeon asks her one night, after Momo has told her she’s too tired to stay with her to chat for a bit like they usually do. It’s the third time that week. “You seem a little off lately.” 

Momo shrugs her shoulders. She knows she’s terrible at lying, and she doesn’t want to lie to Nayeon anyway. That doesn’t mean she has to tell her everything that’s been going through her mind lately, because she’s not sure she’s ready to face that herself. 

“I’m just in a bad mood, I guess. It’ll pass.”

Nayeon furrows her brow, apparently not happy with that answer. “We can’t have that. Let me try to cheer you up a little?”

God, Momo should really find a way to say no to Nayeon, but when she’s looking at her with those puppy eyes it’s impossible. 

“Okay.”

“Let me show you what I always do to feel better when I’m in a bad mood.”

It turns out Nayeon’s cure for sadness are rom-coms, wine and a lot of popcorn. And, to Momo’s surprise, it’s pretty effective. Although she’s not sure if it’s because of the cheesy movies and the snacks or because of Nayeon’s company and her hilarious commentary of the scenes, which have Momo laughing out loud more than once. 

“Are you feeling better?” Nayeon asks as look through Netflix for another movie to watch. Momo nods with a smile. 

“I actually am. Thank you for this.” 

“It’s nothing. I know I’m just like, your kid’s nanny and you probably don’t feel the same, but I like spending time with you and I consider you my friend.”

“Really?” Momo asks, her eyes wide. The truth is, she’s felt like that for a long time too, but she felt kind of silly because of it.

“Really.” Nayeon admits bashfully. “Is it weird?” 

“No! I feel like that too. Sometimes I thought maybe you stayed with me because I’m kind of your boss and all that.” Momo says, lowering her gaze as she rubs the back of her neck. It feels awkward to confess that to Nayeon, but when she sees her smiling at her words she doesn’t regret it at all.

“I didn’t. I like spending time with you, and our talks. You’ve been really nice to me.”

“I’m really glad Jihyo suggested you for the job, you know? You’ve helped Chaewon come out of her shell so much. She’s made more progress in all these months with you than she had in the last two years. And you’ve helped me too.”

“I just do my job.” Nayeon starts to say, feeling her cheeks burn because of Momo’s compliments. 

“No, you do much more than that. And I’m really thankful for how much you’ve helped my family. You don’t know how much it means to me to see Chaewon so happy after everything that she had to go through.” 

“It means a lot to me to be able to make her happy.” Nayeon replies. And you too, she wants to add, but she bites her tongue. It’s too much, she knows. She settles for placing her hand on top of Momo’s and giving her a light squeeze, and enjoying how it makes her smile warmly at her in a way that makes Nayeon’s heart flutter.

“Did you really mean it?” Momo asks, leaving Nayeon a little confused. “When you said I was a great mom.” 

“Of course I did. You are so busy, and have so much to take care of. But you always put your child first, and you always encourage and show her how much you love her. That’s what a good mom does.” 

“You’re too kind.” Momo says bashfully.

“I’m only stating facts.” Nayeon says with a teasing smile. “Sometimes I don’t know how you do it all.”

“I used to think the same thing about Sana.” Momo says, and for a second Nayeon is shocked. She’s pretty sure this is the first time Momo has said her wife’s name in front of her. “She was the one who was good at everything. But then, when we-” Momo clears her throat, emotion getting to her. “When we lost her, I was sure I wasn’t going to be able to manage. She was good at business, but I had no idea how to run one. She was a perfect mom, and I had always let her be the one to scold Chaewon when she did something bad.” 

Nayeon can tell just how vulnerable and raw this moment is. How much Momo is exposing herself, and something tells her she’s one of the few people who has been able to see this side of Momo. It makes her feel like she really must trust her. 

“Well, you did it. You are doing it, and you should be proud of yourself for how well you’re doing it. And, if you ever think you’re not, I’ll be here to tell you how silly you’re being and make you watch dumb movies until you’re laughing again.”

Momo smiles at her so sweetly Nayeon’s pretty sure her heart skips a few beats.

“That sounds like a good deal.” 

* * *

Momo doesn’t mean to overhear Nayeon when she’s talking on the phone, but she can’t help listening in when she notices how distressed the other woman sounds. Whoever she’s talking to isn’t making things easy for her, and she hangs up with a sigh.

She startles a bit when she sees Momo standing there, and she blushes at having been caught. “I didn’t know you were there.” Nayeon says, letting out a little nervous laugh. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Nayeon gestures with her hand, trying to make it seem like it’s nothing. But Momo doesn’t buy it. “Just bank stuff. Student loans and all that. Nothing to worry about.”

“Are you sure about that? You sounded pretty worried.” 

“I’ll manage. I always do.” Nayeon shrugs her shoulders, but her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes and Momo can tell. She looks tired. 

Nayeon’s face after ending that phone call stays on her mind for days, and Momo can’t help it.

Momo hates to think that there could be something weighing on her like that. After all Nayeon has done for her, it would be selfish not to at least try to help, right? A good friend would help. And Nayeon and her are friends now. At least that’s what Momo tells herself when she calls one of her most trusted contacts to do a little digging for her.

In the end, it all ends up blowing up in her face a few days later. Momo should have seen it coming, but it still surprises her when Nayeon walks into her office without even knocking, a fire in her eyes Momo has never seen there before. 

She realizes then that she has never seen Nayeon angry, but she has a feeling she’s about to experience it first hand.

“Momo, did you pay for my student loans?”

That’s what this was about? “Yes?” Momo asks, a little hesitant seeing how furious Nayeon seems to be. 

“What the hell, Momo? Why would you do that?”

“I wanted to help?” Momo says, standing up from her seat. She was starting to feel very small with Nayeon towering over her even across her desk. “You were having trouble with it. The bank said you were running out of time to pay for them and the debt was piling up.” 

“I didn’t ask you to help! It was my problem.” 

“Well, forgive me for trying to be a good friend and helping you out with something that could have really harmed you but that it took nothing for me to fix.” Momo replied, sounding almost petulant, with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Yeah, I know you’re rich. You don’t have to brag about it to my face. I’m not your little charity case-”

“That’s not what I was doing!” Momo let out an exasperated sigh. “I just wanted to help.”

“Then why didn’t you ask me if you could? If it was nothing, why didn’t you tell me you wanted to do it?” 

Momo stays quiet for a few seconds, knowing Nayeon has made a point. “Because you would have refused it.” 

Nayeon looks a little smug after her answer. Momo is about to add something else, justify her actions further because no matter what Nayeon thinks, she doesn’t regret helping her, but another voice stops her.

“Mommy? What’s going on?” Chaewon has snuck into her office, and is looking between the both of them apparently a little confused. Both Nayeon and her freeze, she really hopes she hasn’t heard them arguing. 

“Were you fighting?” Chaewon asks shyly, looking like she’s about to cry if they say they were. “You said fighting was bad.” 

“It is, baby.” Nayeon is the first one to react, and she quickly gets closer to the child and scoops her up in her arms. “Your mom and I just had a little disagreement, but that can happen sometimes.”

“So you’re still friends?” Chaewon sounds hopeful. 

“Of course we are. We’re the best of friends.” Momo reassures her kid. 

“You’re right, though, even if we disagree we shouldn’t have yelled at each other. Friends have to talk to each other when they disagree, right? Like we told you the other day.” Nayeon says, and Chaewon nods. “We won’t do that again, you don’t have to worry.”

Chaewon seems content with their explanation, and Momo is once again amazed by how Nayeon handled the situation. She didn’t lie to Chaewon, but instead explained things to her in a way that she would understand. 

“Let’s go play outside for a while, okay? Mommy is still busy working.” Nayeon asks, grinning when Chaewon nods her head excitedly, her earlier concern all gone. “Go give her a kiss before we leave.” Nayeon whispers in the girl’s ear as she lowers her to the ground again, watching amused how she runs to her mother and stands on her toes to press a wet kiss against her cheek, that Momo gladly accepts. 

“We’ll talk later?” She mouths to Nayeon, who discreetly nods before leaving hand in hand with Chaewon. 

Later that night, Nayeons stops by her office again, like Momo was hoping she would. This time, she looks much calmer, although a little embarrassed. 

“I’m sorry about before. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.” She says, first of all, and Momo shrugs her shoulders. 

“I didn’t behave like I should have either.” 

“I just felt embarrassed, you know? That you somehow found out about all of that and gave all that money for me. And I was pissed you didn’t even ask me about it.” 

“I know, it was wrong of me to go behind your back. But I really just wanted to help. I could tell it was stressing you out so much, and I hated to see you suffering when I knew I could do something like that. I haven’t always… had this much money. I married into it.” Momo admitted, giving her a shy little smile. “So I don’t throw it around, even if I could afford it. But if I can use it to help a friend… I will.” 

Nayeon sighs. “I still feel bad about it.”

“You really don’t have to. Like I said, it’s nothing to me now, but I know it’s a big deal. And I feel good about having been able to help.” 

“You’re so stubborn.” Nayeon tells her, but there’s a hint of a smile on her lips and Momo knows she’s gotten through to her. 

“As if you’re any better.” Momo teases her. "Do you want me to make you some tea?" Momo asks, standing up to move towards the tea table. She doesn't get there, though because Nayeon gets in her way.

It takes Momo by surprise when Nayeon suddenly hugs her, holding her tight. She's flustered, but it's not an unwelcome feeling at all. 

"Thanks, Momo. I'm still a little mad, but what you did… it means a lot to me." She says against Momo’s shoulder.

"You don't have to thank me." Momo says, grateful that Nayeon can't see how much she's blushing right now as she hugs her back carefully. "We all need a little help sometimes."

* * *

Nayeon had been fearing the moment Momo would leave Jihyo and her alone that evening. It had been a long time since Momo had seen her friend, and it was the same for Nayeon, so she had come up with the great idea of inviting her over for dinner. 

It sounded wonderful, until the moment Nayeon realized Jihyo was keeping a close eye on her interactions with the other woman, and she knew from her smirk she had something to say about it. 

“So. I see you’ve made yourself quite at home here.” Jihyo says to her, taking advantage of the fact that Momo had gone upstairs to tuck Chaewon in. 

“It’s been great so far.” Nayeon replies, trying to sound as if she doesn’t know Jihyo is up to something. 

“Momo is great, isn’t she?” 

“Yeah, she really is.” 

“You two look close.” 

“Well, we’ve become friends. She’s very nice.”

“I’m sure she is.”

Nayeon can’t take it anymore. Jihyo’s smirk and her knowing look is getting under her skin. She always knows how to do that, one of the downsides of having been friends for so long. “If you have something to say, just say it.” 

“Is there something going on between you and Momo?”

“What?” Nayeon asks her, surprised. “Of course not!” She quickly denies it. Maybe a little too quickly. 

“Are you sure?” Jihyo insists. She’s a little confused. Nayeon sounds honest, but she could have sworn there was something there. The two of them had pretty much been acting like a married couple all night, and they way they looked at each other... she couldn’t be that far off. 

“Of course I’m sure. I would know it if there was something going on with my boss.” Nayeon huffs, but the fact that she’s this defensive only makes Jihyo more suspicious. 

“But do you want it to be?” Nayeon is about to deny it again, but Jihyo gives her a pointed stare that tells her it’s pointless to deny the obvious. 

“Look.” She sighs. “There may be a little crush there, because yes, Momo is gorgeous, and amazing, and so kind and sweet, and funny, but nothing is going on and there won’t be in the future either.”

“That sounds like more than a little crush.” Jihyo smiles, amused. Nayeon sounds smitten, and she finds it so cute. “Why can’t there be anything?”

“Well, first of all, she doesn’t like me that way.” 

“It didn’t look that way to me.” Jihyo intercedes in a low voice, quietening when Nayeon glares at her. 

“And second, she lost her wife who was like, the love of her life. I don’t think she wants a new relationship right now.” 

Jihyo knows this is a touchy subject. She knows how hard losing Sana was for Momo, even if she tried her best not to show it. But that’s exactly why she wants to see her happy again, and to her it seems like Nayeon might be able to do just that. 

“It’s been two years, Nayeon. I think it’s time for her to move on. And maybe she hasn’t even realized it yet, but she looks at you like you’ve hung the moon.” Nayeon shakes her head, but still blushes at her words. “Yes, Sana was the love of her life. But who says you can only have one of those? That could be really sad, wouldn’t it?”

Nayeon doesn’t know what to answer to that. Luckily, Momo saves her from having to do so by showing up again in the dining room with a big smile, oblivious to the conversation the other two were having. 

“Chaewon is asleep!” She announces happily, walking up to Nayeon’s chair. “I stopped by the kitchen and brought you this.” She hands Nayeon a glass of white wine, which Jihyo knows happens to be her favorite. Her arched eyebrow at her says more than words ever coul, and Nayeon lowers her face bashfully. 

“Thanks, Momo.”

“Do you want some too, Jihyo?”

“Nah, I think I’m good.” Jihyo answers with a smile. Nayeon knows she’s in for so much teasing in the future. 

* * *

Nayeon tries very hard not to think too much about Jihyo’s words. She just wants to focus on her job, which is taking care of Chaewon, and not lose her time building her hopes up over a crush that will never amount to anything more.

No matter what Jihyo says, she knows Momo doesn’t feel the same as her. Why would Momo, who could have pretty much any woman she likes, want to be with Nayeon? Her kid’s nanny? It sounds like the plot of a bad drama, and Nayeon knows life doesn’t work like that. 

So she does her best to ignore the flip in her stomach when Momo smiles at her, and the way her heart starts pounding in her chest when she absentmindedly takes Nayeon hand while they’re watching a movie. It’s nothing, she tells herself. Momo doesn’t even realize what she’s doing, because when she does she quickly apologizes and puts a little more distance between them. Nayeon knows she just doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but she instantly misses the warmth of Momo’s thigh against her own. 

“Did you like the movie?” Momo asks her as soon as the credits start rolling. Nayeon nods, and before they know it they’re both having a passionate talk about all the subtleties of the plot. 

“It was one of Sana’s favorites.” Momo says, taking Nayeon a little by surprise. She can count using the fingers in one hand the number of times Momo has mentioned her late wife when it wasn’t absolutely necessary to do so.

“You never talk about her.” She says, tentatively. Nayeon is a little curious. She feels like she should know more about this woman who played such an important role in Momo and Chaewon’s life, but she doesn’t want to bring back painful memories.

Momo looks down. “It’s still hard. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. We had been friends since we were kids… I thought we would spend all of our lives together. But then one day you get a phone call. They tell you there’s been an accident, and that your wife didn’t make it.” Momo sniffles, and wipes away her tears with the back of her hand.

“I’m so sorry, Momo.” Nayeon says, feeling her own heart breaking. She can’t imagine going through that, and she wishes so hard that there was some way she could take away some of Momo’s pain, even if it meant enduring it herself. 

“It doesn’t get easier. But you learn to live with it.” She shrugs her shoulders. Nayeon can’t take how devastated she looks, and she tugs Momo closer to make her lean against her. Momo lets herself be comforted, and she cries softly on Nayeon’s shoulder, who just holds her tighter every time she hears her sob. 

“I had never let anyone see me like that.” Momo says, looking a little embarrassed, when the tears stop. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s good to let out your feelings, you know? And to lean on people.”

“Oh, is it?” Momo asks, her tone a little teasing. 

“Well, someone told me recently that everyone needs a little help from time to time.” 

“That person sounds wise.” Momo says, and Nayeon is happy to see how her smiles slowly reach her eyes again. 

“Well, not so much...” She teases her, making Momo whine. “She is wise. And so kind and hardworking. She cares about everyone around her, no matter who they are. She’s an amazing friend, and a great mom.” 

“Stop, you’re going to make me blush.” Momo whines softly again, poking Nayeon’s arm.

“What’s the harm in that?”

“How are you going to respect me as your boss then?”

“I think that train passed long ago.” Nayeon jokes, giggling when Momo pouts at her answer.

“You know what, I think it’s your time to share now.” She tells Nayeon, lifting her legs up to sit more comfortably on the couch as she faces her. 

“Share what?”

“Your tragic backstory! I shared mine, now it’s your turn.” 

Nayeon laughs, shaking her head. “Who says I have one?”

“I can tell.” Momo says, looking at her with those big black eyes, and it makes her feel like she can in fact see right through her. “I know I can seem a bit of an airhead sometimes, but I notice things. Like the fact that you never talk about your parents. And when you talk about parenting… sometimes it feels like there’s something more there Not to mention the fact that you didn’t reach out to them when you needed help like most people would have done.” 

“Well, they wouldn’t have helped me. I haven’t even talked to them in years.” 

“What happened?” Momo asks softly. Nayeon knows she doesn’t have to tell her everything, but there’s a part of her that wants to be as vulnerable with Momo as she has been with her. 

“They kicked me out and cut me off when I came out to them. I was still studying at the time, and I had no job, so I had to leave uni to find one that could support me. I tried to juggle both things, but in the end it was impossible. I needed the money to survive.” It was hard, but Nayeon made it through, and she thinks about it with pride now.

“That’s why you didn’t finish your degree?”

Nayeon nods. “I couldn’t find many decent jobs, so I struggled. That’s why I was staying with Jihyo.” 

“I know you got pissed the last time I tried to do something for you without asking first, so I’m going to ask you this time. Can I send a hitman to get your parents?” Momo says in a very serious voice, until Nayeon starts laughing loudly and she cracks too. She loves it when Nayeon laughs like that, without caring how it looks or if it’s too much. 

“No, you can’t, but you wouldn’t do that anyway. You’re too good to ever hurt anyone even if they deserve it.” 

“Maybe I could send someone to scare them.” Momo crosses her arms, trying to look tough. 

“There’s no need. They’re not even worth it. I’m doing well now, and I don’t need them.” 

“Still, they are your parents. How could they do that to their own daughter? Family is supposed to care for each other.” Momo looks genuinely hurt that Nayeon’s parents would put her through that. She can’t ever imagine doing something like that to her own daughter. Only someone heartless could do such a thing. 

“Sometimes your family end up being different people than the ones who you’re related to by blood.” Nayeon says. “Don’t you think so?”

Momo looks at her, thinking about her words. “Yes.I think you’re right about that.”

* * *

“Mommy looks happier lately.” Chaewon says one day out of the blue, while Nayeon is helping her with her homework. She has no idea what brought it on, but kids have been known to just say the most random things, so she doesn’t give it much thought.

“Really?” Nayeon asks her, looking at the girl out of the corner of her eye. “Why would you say that?”

“She was sad before.” Chaewon explains as she keeps writing down numbers in her notebook. “I was sad too, because I miss Mom a lot.” 

Nayeon’s heart clenches. She wraps an arm around Chaewon’s shoulder and holds her close for a moment. “Are you happier now too?”

Chaewon nods. “We’re happier because you’re here.” She says, with all the honesty of a eight year old kid.

“Me?”

“Yes.” She nods again, looking very sure of her answer. “You’ve made mom smile a lot. She didn’t smile much before you came.”

Nayeon can feel her cheeks redden, and she’s glad Chaewon can’t see it since she’s still focused on the notebook in front of her. “I’m glad you think so, Chae. Being here with you and your mom has made me really happy too.” She tells her. 

“You won’t leave, then?” Chaewon turns to her to ask her with the most adorable puppy eyes Nayeon has ever seen. 

“Of course not. I would miss you too much.” She boops Chaewon’s nose, making her giggle. “Now, let’s finish your homework, okay?”

* * *

“I have a surprise for you.” Momo announces one night after dinner, when it’s just the two of them. She’s smiling so wide anyone would think the surprise was for her instead of Nayeon, but she’s just excited. She’s pretty sure Nayeon will love it, and she can’t wait to see the look on her face. 

“What is it?” Nayeon asks curiously, trying to peek at whatever Momo is hiding behind her back. 

“Close your eyes.” Momo tells her with childish excitement, and Nayeon rolls her eyes in mock exasperation but still follows her request.

She feels Momo put an envelope in her hands, and when she opens it she finds a couple of tickets. When she sees what they’re for, she can’t help letting out a loud squeal, and Momo giggles at her reaction.

“How did you manage to get these?”

“A magician never tells her secrets.” Momo replies cheekily, accepting Nayeon’s hug when she throws herself at her out of pure joy. 

Nayeon had been complaining for weeks about the fact that she hadn’t been able to get tickets to see her favorite idol group, which Momo wasn’t familiar with. At least not before Nayeon, by now she’s pretty sure she can name all the members and their most popular songs. She found it cute how much Nayeon liked them, and she was saddened that she wouldn’t be able to see them live when she wanted it so much. 

So Momo had decided there was no way she was letting that happen, Nayeon wasn’t going to be sad over anything on her watch, and had used her connextions to get a couple of tickets to their show. And, as she had expected, Nayeon was ecstatic about it. 

“You can take whoever you want to the show, I got two so you wouldn’t have to go alone-” Momo begins to explain when Nayeon finally releases her tight hold on her.

“What do you mean whoever you want? Aren’t you coming with me?”

Momo hadn’t even considered that being an option. “Oh, yes, sure, if you want me to. I just thought you might want to invite a friend.”

“Of course I want you to!” Nayeon beams at her, and Momo smiles even wider. “You’re my friend.” You’re so much more than that, Nayeon wants to say. But she knows she shouldn’t. It’s hard to keep quiet, though, when Momo is looking at her like that, when she took her hand as soon as their hug broke and she still hasn’t let it go. 

Nayeon remembers Chaewon’s words about how she makes Momo happier. And God, she wants to keep doing that, she wants to make sure she never feels sorrow again. And maybe Nayeon is crazy for thinking that, but she feels like she can do it. 

“I love you.” She blurts out, and later she’ll blame it on the glass of wine she had with dinner, but she’ll know it’s a dumb excuse. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but I love you, and I want to be with you.”

Momo stares at her, completely shocked by her confession. She opens and closes her mouth, but no sound comes out of it so Nayeon braves through and carries on. 

“I’d love it for you to come with me to the show as a date. If you don’t feel the same, we can go as friends of course. And I know I’m risking a lot, because you are still my boss and I love it here, and I’d never want for things to be awkward. But I just had to tell you, because being with you makes me so happy, and I think I can make you happy too. Maybe it’s too soon, maybe I’m being way over the line right now. But I just had to try and ask you for a chance.”

By the time Nayeon is done her heart is racing and Momo still looks like she has forgotten every word in every language she speaks. 

“Nayeon, I-” She manages to blabber, stumbling to find the words. She doesn’t even know what she wants to say.

“Just think about it.” Nayeon tells her. Momo needs time to process everything that she just blurted out to her. “Goodnight, Momo.” 

Nayeon presses a kiss to Momo’s cheek before she leaves, and Momo might still be completely lost and confused, but she can’t deny the fluttering in her stomach when she feels her soft lips against her skin. 

* * *

Momo has been overthinking for the last few days. Ever since Nayeon’s confession, she has been professional towards her, keeping a little distance, probably to not make her feel uncomfortable. But Momo misses her, misses their nightly talks and watching movies with her, misses how they played together with Chaewon. 

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going on with her, and Momo isn’t that blind to her feelings. But that doesn’t mean she feels even remotely ready to act on them. She’s always kind of know, that Nayeon was special to her. But she was able to push those thoughts to the back of her mind, and leave it for future Momo to worry about their meaning. Now, however, she has to deal with them. 

She has to give Nayeon an answer. It’s cruel, keeping her in suspense when she was so brave sharing her feelings with her. Momo wishes she had some of that courage too. But her thoughts keep going in circles in her mind, and that’s when she knows she needs someone to help. An outsider’s opinion. 

Jeongyeon doesn’t look that surprised when Momo explains everything to her, and she feels a little embarrassed. She has only seen her with Nayeon a few times she’s come over to her place to visit, but she had already figured them out. 

“If you have feelings for her, just say yes. Go out with her, see how it goes.” 

“It’s not that easy.” Momo replies. “What if it doesn’t work out?”

“What if it does?” Momo squirms uncomfortably in her seat. “Is that what you’re more scared about? That it would work?” 

Momo sighs, her gaze shifting, looking everywhere but at her friend.

“You’re not betraying Sana, you know.” Momo’s jaw clenches. She’s hit a sensitive spot. “Nayeon seems like a lovely girl. She’s amazing with Chaewon. You two are already close and get along well. And when I’ve seen you with her, you looked happier than I’ve seen you in years.” 

“Jeongyeon…” It can’t be that easy as Jeongyeon is making it out to be. 

“Stop feeling guilty for wanting love, Momo. Sana would have wanted you to be happy, you know that.”

“I know.” Momo says, her voice breaking a little. Jeongyeon’s hand is suddenly on her shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. 

“You know I’ll support you no matter what you decide. But I think you should give this a chance. You deserve it.” 

* * *

It takes all of Momo’s courage to knock on Nayeon’s bedroom door that night. The other woman seems surprised to find her standing there, looking nervous with her hands in her pockets.

“Can I come in? I think we need to talk.”

Nayeon silently agrees, stepping aside so Momo can come into her room, thankful that she’s kept it clean and tidy or else she’d be so embarrassed. She has no idea what’s coming, so she braces herself for the worst. She reassures herself thinking that, even if Momo rejects her, she knows she wouldn’t fire her. She wouldn’t do that to her, or to Chaewon. 

Still, if Momo tells her she doesn’t want more from her it’s going to hurt and Nayeon knows it. She just hopes they can stay friends if that’s the case. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you sooner. I needed some time to think about… everything.” Momo starts, and she’s still so clearly nervous. Nayeon would find it endearing if she wasn’t feeling the same way. 

“I understand.” She says, 

“Nayeon, when you said all that the other day… I was surprised. I guess I had tried to ignore whatever was happening between us because, as much as I liked it, it also scared me, and it made me feel guilty. When I was with you I felt so happy. Whenever I saw you with Chaewon my heart did this… thing.” Momo curses herself for not being better with words, but Nayeon doesn’t seem to mind and is looking at her with fondness. “Deep down, I wished that could be my future. The three of us, together. But I couldn’t let myself think like that because it felt like a betrayal. So I pretended it wasn’t there. But I can’t do that anymore.” 

Momo takes a deep breath, and Nayeon holds her own, waiting for her next words. 

“But I’m done feeling guilty and scared. I want to try. It’s been two years, and in all that time you’re the only person who has made me feel like I could be myself again. Like I could be happy again. And I want to be, and I want to make you happy too.” 

Nayeon’s eyes are shining, and Momo knows she looks on the verge of tears as well, but they’re both still smiling. And, at that moment, she’s certain that she’s made the right choice. 

“So, if you still want you, I’d love to go to the show with you. As your date.” 

Nayeon can’t help herself. She’s already been patient enough, she thinks as she takes a couple of steps so she’s close enough to Momo to pull her by her sweatshirt until their bodies are pressed together. 

The kiss is softer than Momo would have expected given Nayeon’s urgency. She brushes her lips against hers almost shyly at first, until she feels Momo respond to it, and then they’re lost in each other, Momo gripping her waist and Nayeon’s hands in her hair. They kiss deeply, like they’ve been desperate for this for months, and maybe they have been. 

They’re both out of breath when it ends, and Nayeon giggles, brushing her nose against Momo’s before making their foreheads touch. Momo’s heart feels full. She thought it would never feel like that again. 

“You still haven’t said it back.” Nayeon whispers, caressing Momo’s cheeks with her thumbs. 

“What?” Momo plays dumb. 

“You know what. I said it.”

Momo considers making her ask for it for a little longer, but she finds she doesn’t really want to hold back anymore. She just wants to tell her, and see Nayeon’s eyes light up when she does. 

“I love you too.” 

* * *

They wait until a couple of weeks after their first official date to tell Chaewon. They decide it’s better to tell her sooner rather than later, the girl is bound to figure it out anyway, and they don’t think she’s going to take it wrongly. Nayeon is more worried about it, but Momo knows her daughter adores her and she’s sure she’ll be ecstatic about it. 

They take her out to her favorite ice cream place, and Chaewon seems happy to be able to spend time with the both of them and to eat her favorite treat. They all talk for a while, mostly about Chaewon, letting her explain all about the new friends she’s made recently and how they have so much fun in the playground during recess. After a while, Momo shares a look with Nayeon, who nods. It’s time. 

“Nayeon and I have to tell you something.” Momo says, glancing at Nayeon who looks a little nervous again. She takes her hand in hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“What is it?”

“Well, you know we’re friends, right?” Chaewon nods, looking between the two of them curiously. “We figured out we liked each other as more than friends, and we’ve decided to start dating.” 

“So you’re girlfriends now?” Chaewon asks them. She doesn’t look surprised, but more like she’s trying to fully understands what this implies for her and her family. 

“Yeah, we’re girlfriends now.” Nayeon answers, smiling softly at her. “Are you okay with that?”

After thinking about it for a few seconds, Chaewon nods, and they both discreetly let out a sigh of relief. “But Nayeon is still going to spend more time with me, right?”

Momo laughs loudly at that, and Nayeon looks pretty proud of herself for having both of them fighting for her attention. “I think I’m going to have to ask Chaewon for permission to take you out on dates.” Momo says to Nayeon, who just smiles smugly and shrugs her shoulder. 

“Nayeon will still take care of you for now, don’t worry about that.” Momo explains to her daughter. She wants her to know nothing will change because of this, at least not what really matters. Nayeon obviously isn’t going to stay as her nanny forever, but they still have a lot to figure out. 

Momo has been trying to convince her to go back to school and finish her degree, since it wouldn’t take that long and after that Nayeon could go after her true vocation and become a teacher. But Nayeon is still reluctant to let Momo use her money to help her, so they’ve both decided to give themselves some time to decide what they’re going to do next. 

Momo doesn’t mind. She’s quite enjoying the fact that Nayeon lives in her house and she can see her as much as she wants to. Maybe they’ve skipped a few steps with that, but it seems to be working out pretty well for them. 

“What’s important is that you know we both love you, and nothing is going to change that.” Nayeon takes Chaewon’s hand with her free hand, the other still between Momo’s. “And that you remember you can talk to us about whatever you’re feeling, or ask us any questions you want to. Okay?”

“Okay.” Chaewon smiles. 

“Come here, baby. Mommy wants to give you a hug.” Momo says, opening her arms and smiling brightly when Chaewon jumps off her seat and rushes to hug them both. 

Momo’s heart feels so light having the people she loves the most in her arms. She doesn’t even realize there are tears on her cheeks until Nayeon mouths an “Are you okay?” to her. Momo gives her a smile. 

“Don’t worry. They’re happy tears.”

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me @namosjeong on twitter


End file.
